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What does it take to get Stallman for a speech?

What does it take to have open-source Richard Stallman for a speech? Here's a listing of requirements.

In a way, his requirements are anti-open source, because his requirements make his speech events seem closed source. If I were to organize a speech for him, I'd perhaps violate half of the rules he sets.

So read on, the requirements more interesting as you read on. As eccentric as we would expect Stallman to be. Well, that's what makes Stallman, Stallman.